I have always cut my own hair and rarely have I ever screwed up. Definitely not something this bad.

I just bought a new trimmer that has a vacuum attached so it was a much easier cleanup. Welp, I just decided in the middle of the work day (WFH) that I was going to go ahead and give myself that haircut.

I started using it and immediately noticed it grabbing my hair instead of cutting it and realized the blades didn't come pre-lubed so I took the guard off and put a drop of lube on the blade.

I then got a work call so I set down the trimmer and went to go answer it. An hour later and i've finally got time to go finish that haircut.

I didn't put the guard back on and didn't notice until it was waaaay too late, ya'll.

What the hell am I going to do? I look like I joined a fight club and there's a project with a near million dollar invoice on the line next week.

TL;DR I just fucked my shit up and there's no way this will regrow enough by Monday to hide it.

Edit: I also just realized that there's also going to be a huge amount of company holiday pictures taken next week that will get distributed company wide in January. If my project gets approved there'll be a company zine article thingy with my picture as well. This is potentially about to be one of the most embarrassing periods of my life.

For context my roommate isn't white but I am. We were having something delivered today but I was the only one home to welcome the package. The people delivering it helped me carry it up the stairs and I made sure to thank them and give them some water after the heavy lifting. Their mood shifted when we got the package into the living room and they seemed very awkward and uncomfortable. I figured they were just trying to get out fast to continue their other deliveries but then I remembered what we have framed and on display in the living room. It's a piece of paper my roommate and I found stapled to a phone pole one night that left us in stitches because it has "IT'S OK TO BE WHITE" printed on it. We thought it was so funny that we needed to make it our first piece of home decor. Fml

TLDR: Didn't hide the "ITS OK TO BE WHITE" paper that I have framed and on display when movers came.

This happened today and I’m so angry at myself, but absolutely need to tell the story. I’m a first year college student and most of my life I lived in a small city, while there were different kinds of beggars, they would usually sit in one place with a cup for money and barely say anything. I moved to a bigger city to attend university and haven’t interacted with any beggars or scammers.

Today, as I was leaving a cafe and adjusting my headphones, a woman slightly older ( not older than 25 tho ) than me approached me. I would usually shake my head and walk away, but I couldn’t quite hear what she said which made me stay put. She told me that she doesn’t want any money, but asked if I could buy her something to eat. I gave her 10 lei ( Romanian currency, so this is the equivalent of 2 euros ) and told her she can go and buy something for herself. While she accepted the money, she said I have to go with her because her grandma will be mad at her. She told me she has a few siblings when I asked her, and that one of them was sick, which made me feel for her. Initially, I thought she was gonna buy herself something with the money I gave her, but soon realised it wasn’t the case when I went to a nearby store with her. I told her I have to go since I had courses, but then she said “ but you said you’ll buy me some food “. I was shocked and reluctant, but I figured I’ll survive without 10 euros or so. She assured me she won’t choose anything expensive ( which wasn’t the case at all! ), and she started walking around the store with a basket.

When I was about to pay, she chose the self scan method, saying it’s faster ( I realised later she only did it so the cashier wouldn’t call her out on it ). She then took the receipt and dared to ask me for a few more euros, to which I replied “ Don’t you think I helped you enough? “.

Later, my classmates told me she kept the receipt to return the items and keep the money.

In conclusion, I am a dumb idiot who wasted 150 lei ( 30 euros ) on a liar. I would’ve been less upset if she actually used the money to buy herself and her siblings food.

I know I should’ve left at any point, but I practically froze in that moment. The only good part is that I learned my lesson and my dumb self would never fall for such thing again. Feel free to slam me in the comments.

TL;DR Thought I was buying food for a woman, she actually scammed me.

I worked at a restaurant in an outlet mall. One day, one of my coworkers went to leave after his shift and discovered he didn’t have gas. I told him he could use my car to run to the gas station and there was a gas can in the trunk. The only problem was one of the caps was missing off the gas can.

I happened to have a big novelty pen with a huge squishy finger grip, so I told him to plug up the hole with that so gas doesn’t spill all over my car.

Some time later my coworker comes back and says he got the gas but accidentally locked my keys in the car. I said I would try to figure out something after my shift, don’t worry about it.

Some time after that, cops show up asking for the owner of my car. They ask me to follow them and explain what I know about the “device” underneath my car. I go look and shoved under my car is a bright red gas can with a stupid novelty pen sticking out of it. Someone had called it in as a potential bomb.

I explained the situation and the cop said he needed to take pictures as a precaution, so he had me “separate the components of the device” and hold them to opposite sides at arm’s length.

So somewhere there’s a police precinct that has a picture of me T-posing with a gas can, a stupid novelty pen, and a befuddled expression on my face.

TL;DR Let my friend use my car to get gas, T-posed with suspected explosive device.

This morning, my day took an unexpected turn when I received frantic texts from my coworker, Rachel. While with our boss, Josh, she told me something that had me immediately worried: Josh's elevated heart rate, dizziness, and an overall unwell feeling. Knowing about Josh's history with heart problems, I was on high alert. But the real story unfolded in a way I did not see coming.

As Rachel, who happens to be a nurse, was trying to assess Josh's condition, another coworker strolled in, asking about some cookies in the kitchen. Now, it's important to note that our team often gathers in each other's homes, and today happened to be at Rachel's. Sensing a potential crisis, Rachel warned the newcomer not to eat the cookies, which prompted the big revelation.

As it turns out, a week ago, we had a Friendsgiving celebration at Rachel's place, and both Josh and the inquiring coworker were absent. Being the considerate friend that I am, I had baked a batch of cookies – some for general consumption and others with a special twist. To avoid any mix-ups, I meticulously labeled the 'special' ones with a little leaf on the box. However I accidentally left them at Rachel's house, intending to grab them next week.

Fast forward to today, and Josh, unaware of the cookie's special ingredient, helped himself to what he thought was an innocent snack. Thankfully Josh, connecting the dots, burst into laughter, realizing he had inadvertently consumed my "fun" cookies.

Fortunately, Josh has a good sense of humor and is no stranger to the peculiar effects of the green. He took it all in stride, turning what could have been a workplace emergency into an unexpected moment of hilarity.

TLDR: My boss experienced a momentary health scare at work, only to discover it was the result of unknowingly consuming the 'special' cookies I had left behind from our Friendsgiving celebration.

When I was younger, i believed it would be very cool to be older than i am in reality. I went to a summer camp in another country, and i didn't really know anyone there. I met a group of people, and we clicked. There was one person in the group that was 1 year older than the rest, and everyone looked up to him, so i thought it would be a good idea to lie about my age and say that i was 1 year older. I made up some fake birthday that i pretended to be VERY secretive about as well, and i wouldn't tell them when my real birthday was, like, ever. For context, I did and still do live in a different country than them. Here we are 5 years down the line and they think i am in my last year of school, when in reality i'm only graduating next year. I really, really hate that i decided to lie about my age then, but now it is just way too awkward to come clean. But then again, I do realise that I can't pretend to be attending University, while still being in school. I feel very bad but i really do not want to come clean.

TL;DR: When i was 12, i lied to my friends in summer camp and told them that i am 1 year older than i actually was, it is now 5 years later, and they think i'm going to university next year, but i am not.

​

My boyfriend was asleep with the door cracked open and I was playing a game on my phone on the couch. I was trying to be very quiet so he could sleep peacefully, which made this whole episode like something from a tiny version of A Quiet Place. I heard what sounded like a squeaking sound...almost like a mouse. I started freaking out a bit because I keep the apartment quite clean, barring some bits of food that have fallen between the stove and the wall - I intend to have him help me pull it out at some point & clean that up. Anyway, I start quietly creeping around the place with my phone flashlight on, looking under the tables, couch, fridge, etc...nothing! No evidence of bugs or mice or any critters, but the squeaking continues! I'm terrified at this point. Could it be a bat? He told me when he first moved in there was a bat that got in. Now I'm flashing my light up under the cabinets and stove hood, cringing silently away, lest some squeaky, fluttery creature attack my face. Finally I seem to home in on the source of the noise. It's beneath some empty grocery bags I was saving to keep in the cars as garbage bags. I'm ready to fight. I quickly move the bags - to find five very small potatoes, rotting away in a plastic bag, releasing juices and gases against their bag in a cacophony of tiny squeaks. I guess my typical diligence in cleaning failed and I missed these little fellas, and they decided to scare the living daylights out of me in retribution. In relieved disgust, I tie up the bag and drop it in the trash bin, which thankfully has a lid, relegating the potatoes - and their song - to the darkness. Terror abated, I returned to my game. I won't be sleeping until my blood pressure and heart rate return to normal.

TL;DR: I thought there was a mouse, got real scared; it turned out to be rotting potatoes releasing gas in a bag

This happened a couple weeks ago I had a few friends come to visit me from Argentina. They don’t speak English so obviously around them I speak Spanish, for a little context I’m Argentinian/Spanish born in the US. Spanish is my first language but I speak English fluently.

On this day I was taking them to a few places in my town I live in the Midwest so our tours consisted of a lot of coffee shops, target, and tj maxx. We were checking out at tj maxx and the cashier greeted us like normal and started silently scanning our items. At this point we haven’t spoken much all I said was ‘yes thank you’ to him asking if we found everything alright. He was very attractive and my friends made a joke about American men. We started talking a little as he scanned and he noticed we weren’t speaking English. He looks up and kindly asks if we were from here. I’ve dealt with every racist comment and question under the sun but his was just curious.

My friends knew certain words and phrases and one answers with ‘no from Argentina’. Cashier then goes on about how he loves Argentina and soccer and then finishes by asking if we like the US so far. He spoke fast so my friends all turn to me to translate but instead I turn to him and say ‘Sorry little no English” with an accent behind it. My friends all look confused and quietly ask wtf I was doing. Honestly it was a gut reaction. I’ve always wanted to use my Spanish speaking skills in this way like last week at work a lady came in looked me up and down and in the rudest way asked if I spoke English. Shocked I quickly said yes of course but then thought I could’ve said no and not had to deal with her. But this time my mind decided this was the moment to try this.

After telling him that he goes oh I’m so sorry and in a broken Spanish says he loves Argentina and fútbol. It was cute he was trying we all laughed and thanked him and he ended the conversation with adios and buenos días which is ‘good morning’ but it’s the thought that counts. In the car my friends died laughing telling me that was so stupid I said whatever never gonna see him again.

A couple days pass honestly forgot I did that and we went back to tj maxx because my friend was leaving soon and she wanted to exchange a dress she bought. It was just the two of this time last time it was four of us. The line was super long so she makes the line while I shopped around a little more. She had already made it to the cashier by the time I got there and of course it was the same guy. I recognized him straight away and as he had his back turned asking for help on the exchange my friend jokingly asks if I know English today. I was prepared to go either way but when he came back he looks at me weird and asks if we were the girls from Argentina, in the cutest broken Spanish. I was hoping he forgot us but I smiled and go ‘Si’. I then kept adding to the issue and go ‘you remember’ in my attempt at broken English. He goes ‘Si son muy bonitas’ which is you guys are very pretty we laugh and thanked him and he finished her items and starts scanning mine. My friend had a phone call to take so she excused herself.

Now it was just him and I and I was so ready to come clean but then he asked if I was living here now. This time in English but he spoke slow hoping I could understand. I responded and kept the act by saying I just moved here. I was just digging myself deeper at this point. He tried to give me a few recommendations and at this point I was struggling to act like I didn’t know what he was saying and he was trying to find the right words that i could understand. I pay and was ready to leave when he puts his hand to his ear gesturing getting my phone number. He said he could show us around sometime and if we needed anyone to learn English with hed be happy to help. I actually found this guy attractive and honestly felt like shit already so I gave him my number. I left and later that day received a text from him in Spanish he was using Google translate to try and communicate with me and we ended up talking a lot. He was sweet and said he always wanted to learn Spanish so maybe he could teach me English and I could teach him Spanish. He asked if I was free this Saturday to meet up with him and few of his friends for drinks and haven’t given him a clear answer because I don’t think I can keep this up any longer.

TL;DR: Lied to a cute cashier acting like I didn’t know English and now we’ve been talking and he’s invited me out but I have to keep playing this role or he’ll find out I lied.

I’m 18m. Had been fantasizing about using a escort so I could finally get laid. I had a 3 hour window today of No one home. I live with my mom and she would kick my ass if she caught me. I found an average looking, big titty, ass, woman on a website with a decent price of $100 that lived in a better area of town. So I used Uber to get there. Had a bbbj, then fucked with a condom, mind u I’m a virgin so putting on a condom was new. I did have a general idea of how (point tip face up then roll down shaft). Asked her if it looked ok she said yes. The moment I entered was so anticlimactic, I was expecting heaven when I entered but it just felt exactly like my $20 pocket pussy from Amazon. It honestly didn’t even feel that good but I just went with the flow. We did missionary, doggy, and cowgirl. Then back to missionary, as I was pulling out to take a breather.. I noticed there was no condom on my dick. She (now standing up) pulls it out of her vagina. Kind of laughs it off and says ”how did that happen?”. We then do bj as that was her last condom. For like 20 minutes and I couldn’t finish for the life of me. I say it’s all good and end it. Now I’m scared shitless that I had a std/sti. What do I do!?

TL;DR: condom slipped off while slamming an escort. Scared of std,sti, and mom. What do I do?!

TIFU by looking at my boyfriend’s phone. Well actually it was yesterday. He was showing me a conversation from his best friend and I read something that I shouldn’t have.

Lately my boyfriend and I have been talking about engagement. He told me that he was going to propose in 2024, between February and July. We looked at rings together, I gave him many different options and told him what I liked and didn’t like. He said I wasn’t allowed to look at certain conversations because of what he was saying to them about the engagement. He wants a bunch of it to be a surprise.

Well yesterday we were talking about friend 2 and he was talking to friend 2 about friend 1. He was showing me the conversation and I kept reading (he told me to just keep reading) and I read that he was talking about the engagement to friend 2, since friend 1 was engaged. I read the month he was going to propose and I panicked. He realized what I read and he panicked as well. He grabbed the phone from me and immediately walked away, very mad at himself. I kept saying I’m sorry over and over again. He said that it wasn’t my fault, but I just kept reading and not realizing what I had done. I told him later that day that I was not allowed to go on his phone until he has proposed, and now he has to go to everyone again and change the date.

TL;DR TIFU by reading my boyfriend’s phone and seeing when he was going to propose to me.

Edit- please bear with me, this is only my second ever post. -Thank you to those that have said nice things. We really appreciate them. -Every relationship/dynamic is different. Please respect ours. -He wants everyone (both families) there to see the proposal. That’s why there was a date set. -To those saying that we are too immature to be getting married, sorry that you can’t be a little immature with your partner. Sometimes it’s the little, stupid, or silly things that make a relationship stronger. We’ve been together for over a year, and are old enough to get married. -We enjoy the little things, and making them surprises is one of them. -This isn’t the biggest FU ever but I figured I’d share a nice story. It’s something that people can laugh at or relate to.

Edit 2- I wasn’t looking through his phone. He was showing me a conversation because I read faster than he talks, and we just get frustrated if he reads it to me.

I'm staying with my brother at an Air BNB the past couple weeks, visiting family. My brother went to meet up with an old friend, leaving me at the house. All I had lying around to eat were poptarts, so I put some in the toaster oven and went to the living room to do some reading. I smelled something a little funny after a while and looked up to see smoke. I ran to the kitchen and there was a full-on fire going in the catcher below the cook tray. No smoke alarm, just fire. I shut off the toaster, unplugged it, and closed the door again hoping the fire would go out on its own. It did not. Desperate, I filled a mug of water and threw it on the fire. Fortunately that did the trick, but of course created more smoke. Now I have the place airing out with the regular oven vent turned up to max, but I'm terrified that I've put a permanent smoke smell in the common space. How do I minimize the damage from this fuck up?

TL;DR: wanted poptarts for breakfast at an Air BNB, underestimated toaster oven.

Obligatory not today, this happened like a month ago.

So the bed frame that I have is a queen bed frame, metal, and it doesn't have built in mattress support just like 4 bars that go across the bottom of it horizontally. You're supposed to have a box spring or something. So for a while at my old apartment I used the two thick oak closet doors which perfectly fit in my bed as the thing that supported the mattress. A year ago I moved into a new apartment and had to leave those closet doors behind.

So to solve the problem of needing some kind of support, I figured, it doesn't need solid support, just something to distribute the weight of the mattress so the 4 built in bars in the bedframe can hold me up. ( This is the fuck up: forgetting to never skimp on something that separates you from the ground). I literally found some wood flooring on the side of the road, carried it home, and nailed it together. It was uneven and like a messed up jigsaw type platform. I wish I had a picture but just think of flooring panels crudely nailed together, like 5 of them, in an uneven way because my dumb brain thought it would distribute the weight of the mattress. Also I do live in the USA but I didn't have enough money at the time to buy a box spring.

I sleep on the mattress like this for like a year. Also, I had a driving job that required drug testing so I didn't smoke the devil's lettuce for almost a full year.

My back started hurting slowly. I'm not sure if it was the driving job or the mattress or both. Either way it was one reason I quit my driving job. Like, the main reason I cited to my bosses and other people. Thank goodness, I thought, because I can smoke again.

Whenever I am high I am REALLY aware of my body sensations. One night I get VERY high and I'm laying in bed and I can see in my minds eye, really almost pscyhedelically, my spine not being supported and like going up and down too much and I'm like " whoah dude it's cause I don't have a good support for my mattress". I spend an eternity moving back and forth in my bed feeling where my spine gets supported and where it doesnt. It's like a revelation. The next morning I tell my partner about it and they say I was exaggerating. I look under the bed and sure enough the part in the bed that my weed induced vision told me my spine was sinking was the part that didn't have support. My partners side of the bed had more of the crudely stuck together wood pieces.

At this point I'm like freaking out and spend days trying to find an affordable box spring or something. I finally find one, a bunkie board, which is a box spring alternative.

I put it together and sleep on the mattress on top of it and like the next day my back pain improved 50%. Over the next week it basically disappeared.

Don't make this mistake . Sleep on something that supports you. Sleep on the floor. Sleep on a hard mattress. Don't sleep on something uneven it'll fuck up your spine.

tldr: slept on a fucked up diy bunkie board, didn't realize it was hurting my spine for a year, got really high and had a vision, fixed it and back pain is gone

TIFU: My PSU caught fire and now I am unsure how to proceed. I would like to salvage my HDDs, SSDs, and GPU but don't know if I can/should because I don't know how to determine if something has short circuited it and don't want a faulty component to ruin a future build. Has this happened to anyone and does anyone have any advice on how to proceed?

Other relevant information:

Today, I started using an old heater and eventually smelled burning. After some googling, I determined that it was just old dust burning off. The heater didn't catch fire and as far as I can tell, was not the direct cause. However, since my room got warmer and the computer is tucked away in a corner, the PSU may have overheated. Also, I have an outlet device that measures watts and it came back only around 950 on the heater and air purifier so I don't think I drew too much power. On top of that, my entire PC set up was on a separate circuit than that of my heater and air purifier, so I still doubt it just drew too much power.

Luckily I was using my computer when it kind of just exploded and I was able to put it out in a matter of like 15 seconds. No damage to anything or anyone other than the PC, which visually looks isolated to the PSU area. Nothing else inside looks fried.

TL;DR My PSU caught fire because I thought it was just an old heater

well we were on a call and we were laughing and all and then got to haunted stories stuff points where she told me that her friends trespassed in to a graveyard and later that night they both fell ill and had haunted dreams. Being on the topic of dreams i unconsciously told her that i also had a dream in which she was there too. She insisted on telling what kind of dream it was and i described to her that we were playing in the field and then got chased by a leopard and so we ran and hid in a shed and since we don't have control over our dreams we fell in a intimate situation, then i skipped to the next part where there was this another guy and another place i teleported and stuff....then she suddenly insisted on describing that part.... i tried to avoid and said will tell you later and its not important dreams are absurd with no control whatsoever over them but still she insisted so i told her that ....ahh we kinda hugged and kissed and the location changed to another place with someone another. She like funny replied me that she will punch me in the back in college if we met and i replied likewise and it went on for few seconds but then she said that i made her uncomfortable and she ended the call.

Yeah, I do believe I could have changed the detail but there was something in me that told me to say it out raw what are you scared of? to be honest and outright if it has finally come to this, alright i also had this feeling in the corner to know her reaction too.

Now she is only checking my messages and not replying.

What do I do now??

tl;dr: while talking to a female friend over the phone got carried away in the convo and told her we were in an intimate situation in my dream last night.

My wife had family over for an early Thanksgiving last week since a few of us were going to be out of town on actual Thanksgiving. I want to start by saying I am a diehard football fan and I am very invested in my fantasy football team as well.

My wife decided the perfect time to host the Thanksgiving was going to be on a Sunday at 1pm, right in the middle of the first few games on TV. I was a little upset that I was going to miss essentially the second half to all of those games. I wanted to try to get around not being able to watch the games, so I decided to bring my phone and hide an airpod in my ear. I wanted to do the right thing by joining them, but also wanted to see if any of my players were going to score, so I held my phone on my lap for the dinner.

During grace, my religious mother in law was giving an incredibly long prayer and the battery on my airpod died, causing the sound to then come through my phone. I didn't have the volume cranked up, but it still disrupted the prayer. I apologized and said that I would turn the game down. My wife insisted that I wait to watch the games later, but I needed to know if any of my players were going to score any touchdowns.

It's been a week, and my wife is still beyond pissed for embarrassing her, my mother-in-law isn’t talking to me right now, and everyone thinks what I did was wrong.

I have come to the conclusion that I should make use of the fact that I can record the games and just watch them when dinner is over. Hope everyone else had a better Thanksgiving!

TL;DR: tried sneaking sports at the Thanksgiving dinner table and the sound went through my phone when my headphones died during the prayer.

I was hanging out with a girl at a class I have to go to because I got caught with weed, which is still illegal where I live... and I also have to take random drug tests that are almost daily. I told this chick my name had been called and she offered to give me a ride, so I was all: "For sure." Then while taking my UA I sharted.

Why, God? Of all times, why now? Why today?

...So after the UA, I throw off my shoes and pants, ditch my underwear and clean-up... I've gone commando quite a bit in my days, and it wasn't a wild situation. I don't think she noticed, but dude, I really, really hope not. Then she dropped me off at my place and it was chill or whatever. I guess I'll just never know if she suspected a thing or not...

TL; DR My body betrayed be at a super critical time and I don't know if I ruined my chances with a gal. 😟💩👎

My wife and I have an old Peugeot 206, our small pride and joy. The car radio is a standard one and I always wanted to change it. I found a black friday deal for a new one with a usb and nice colors and all. It costs about 20 Euros.

Anyway, I decided to yank the old one out and insert the 2 connecters and the radio antenna in the new one. With the electricity stopped of course. I needed a stupid 2 euros connecter and spend a few days to find one. Bought it eventually and changed the radio. It worked but when I turned on the car it would start with the volume up and when I turned off the car it wouldn't turn off by itself. Said f... it and put back the old radio. The car worked just fine for one more day then it just...died. It tried to start and made noises but couldn't. Battery is brand new and car has very regular check-ups.

So here I am two weeks after since it has been towed at a service station and the mechanic says it is nothing wrong mechanicaly and an electrician barely saw it because it's hard to find an electrician these days and he said it is most likely a motor computer issue and it needs to be resofted and that can be done only by an electronist and all this because I wanted a "cute" car stereo for my wife.

Also, she drives the family car and it's winter and I...TIFU bad.

Tl:DR A 20 euro car stereo is probably gonna cost me a 2000 euro car. FML.

Hi Reddit. A few years ago, I injured my shoulder doing some dumb activity that I don’t remember. I thought at the time I tore my rotator cuff cause my shoulder was really hurting, and I couldn’t move it fully. Any time I raised my arm, it wouldn’t let me go past a certain point without a lot of pain.

I didn’t use it very much for about a month to try and “heal” it myself due to not being able to afford going to the doctor, and that seemed to help it! The pain went away when I wasn’t using it, and I thought that my injury was finally healing. Yay!

I started working out, and my shoulder pain came back with a vengeance. But I was stubborn - I wasn’t going to let my injury hold me back. I pushed through the pain because I figured if my shoulder got stronger, the muscles being built up would compensate for the “tear,” and eventually I wouldn’t even notice it was there, right?

So that’s what I did. And it actually worked a lot better than I expected it to! Over time, through working out, I noticed the pain less and less, and it stopped being something I thought about every time it started hurting. I still had a limited range of motion, but I stopped noticing that as well.

I got so used to it that I figured it had healed. I didn’t notice the pain when I worked out, even though it was still there. When I got into heavier weights, my shoulder would almost move, and it would pop a lot. I just associated that with it being normal due to the previous injury.

And then my girlfriend wanted to learn some cool dancing dips. We would practice me flinging her around, dipping her, you know, general dance moves.

WELL… we weren’t fully sober, and were just messing around with trying things we hadn’t before, being overly confident with new tricks in our inebriated state and shit.

I tried something new, and didn’t realize I was close to an obstacle. If I had continued, I would have booped her head into it, so to save her the pain, I instinctively moved her out of harm’s way, at the expense of my balance.

I fell hard on my shoulder (both my hands were on her), and I felt my shoulder dislocate, and then an immediate POP back into place. It hurt way less than I imagined a dislocation to feel, but I wasn’t even thinking about the pain… my shoulder had suddenly gotten its full range of motion back! Not only could I move it up and back (a motion previously impossible), but I could do it without any pain, or popping!

……

I’m such a dumbass y’all.

TL;DR - I (partially?) popped my shoulder out of place, thought for years it was a torn rotator cuff. Fully dislocated my shoulder, popped it back into the socket, and now my shoulder is fine.